My battle with depression & anxiety
First I'd like to intoruce myself, I'm 23 from North Lincolnshire. I have an amazing partner and a beautiful little boy named Isaac James! What could go wrong?!
Unexpectedly my little boy was born 10 weeks early!! This was a massive shock to the system, I was taken to scunthorpe general hospital, which they said they would have to transfer me to another hospital where a cot is spare for my son as they didn't have any,
so off I go into a ambulance by myself (my partner wasn't allowed in the ambulance)! 2 hours away from home, Airedale hospital. I was terrified, scared and lonely. But my partner soon arrived in the car behind.
I was there for 5 days and there was still a no show of my baby boy arriving! I have never been prodded and poked about as much in my life!
So I then got discharged from the hospital and went back home - North Lincs.
2 hours of being at home, I started to bleed so this was another scare.. my partner took me to Grimsby hospital, and I was 4cm dilated and this is where Isaac was born, Jmay 2nd 2015weighing 3lb 4oz! So so tiny it was unbelievable! he was perfect in every way.
Isaac spent 5 long weeks in NICU, when he came home was when my health and wellbeing started to go downhill,
i started to having panic attacks, throughout the night, I was constantly dizzy and lightheaded I thought there was seriously something wrong with me, I saw loads and loads of doctors who told me it was anxiety and I didn't believe them, I thought it can't be true with all these physical symptoms. There's something wrong with me why is no one helping me??
Months went by - where I wouldn't even get out of bed I would just lay there and cry and think to myself I'm so poorly I won't get to see Isaac grow up.
I even asked the doctor to send me for a CT scan because I thought I was really poorly, they did send me for one for peace of mind. Funnily enough it came back clear. I had ECG's a chest X-ray and loads of doctors appointments.
The doctors then started me on antidepressants, which took a good month or two to get into my system and work properly. And all this time I was going through all of this I didn't have much to do with my baby boy, my mum and my partner and my mother in law cared for him.
I was also referred to a CBT therapist, time went on and I began to realise that maybe it was anxiety and depression, because I thought to myself if it was something more serious surely I would of had more symptoms etc.. my antidepressants started to kick in, the therapy started to work out and it gave me a better view on the whole anxiety. A year on i have now been signed off from CBT I have cut back on the antidepressants and I have no panic attacks.
I would just like to say, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, back then I never thought I would get better but with help of specialists and believing in myself I have got there, and I couldn't be more proud of my little boy Isaac who is now a year old!
Thank you for reading x
Written by Imogen Swift